Healing is not a linear process. It’s not just just one day you start healing and then everyday after that you feel better and better. Not in my experience anyway. And not in most of the people I’ve spoken with, worked with and read stories of.
It’s up and down. It’s two steps forward, one step back.
It’s feeling a little bit better, and then going through a healing crises, a period of intense detox, die-off or even just needing to readjust the healing protocol.
It’s messy, and it’s frustrating.
It’s trial and error. It’s testing, tweaking and fine tuning.
Of course there are exceptions to this. The people who heal overnight, or in a matter of months after doing that one thing. Their stories repeated continuously in the holistic healing community, becoming lore. But who cares about those exceptions?
I don’t, because I’m not an exception. And you’re probably not either.
If you know the healing adventure is going to be up and down, you will freak out less when it happens.
The biggest mistake that I have made, or that I see my clients making, is that when things get slightly worse, you freak out and start spiralling.
But spiralling doesn’t help. It takes what would be a lesson for something you need to look at and change, or your body changing and adjusting as it’s healing, or getting rid of toxins, and turns it into a full-on mental breakdown.
A full-on breakdown, spiral, depression, dark night of the soul is sometimes necessary. Sometimes we have to reach that bottom point to be propelled back up and forward.
But often the “downs” are more just a depression. Feeling stuck. Frustrated. Worried. All of your worse fears come out to play.
What if I’m getting worse? What if I’m not getting better at all? What if I’ll be sick forever? What do I do next?
And then a week or two later, you’re back on the up. After that detox/healing/adjusting period, you feel way better than before.
What waste a waste of time and energy. You wasted all of that mental energy going into the dark, into the negative, stressing yourself out and WORRYING YOURSELF SICK.
We don’t say those phrases for no reason – we intuitively know that’s what we’re doing.
Instead of leaning in and surrendering to the healing that’s happening, or the change you need to make in order to get back on track, you go into stress mode. Fight or flight. Survival.
Now you’re body thinks it’s under attack. All the energy is diverted AWAY from healing and detoxing, and towards survival. The body doesn’t care about doing the clean up work like getting rid of cellular waste and squashing free radicals, transporting toxins out of cells, cell renewal and wound healing, when there’s a bear that’s about to eat your face off.
You’ve just switched off the healing and detoxing mode (exactly the thing your body needs right now) and gone into full-on stress response.
If you’re in the middle of a healing crisis or deep detox, this is the worse thing you can do. Let the body finish that process of healing.
Sometimes we don’t even see how far we’ve actually come. How much healing progress has actually been made. Because it’s such a slow, incremental change that’s happened over months, years. You have to try hard to really remember how bad you once were. That’s when you realise you ARE making progress, you’re just too close to really see it.
Healing is up and down. There’s no getting around that. So strap yourself in and prepare for that. It makes it a lot easier.
Mentally train yourself to NOT getting sucked down into the spiral constantly.
If you let them, those challenges, difficulties and obstacles you will inevitably face will take you down and drown you. It’s your responsibility to not let them.
Yes, you can retrain your brain to stay positive. You can choose your mental state (because you’re the one creating it). You can become a learned optimist.
Either way, you have to make it through the other side of the difficulty. Either way, the time will pass, the situation will shift and change.
Are you going to make it a miserable, painful, crushing experience? Or are you going to stay strong, determined, optimistic and know that things will change. Which one do you think is more productive for healing? Which one do you think will help you get through the rough patch faster?
PS. My upcoming program is going to be focused on getting in the right mental space for healing, staying there even through the rough patches and getting rid of the emotional baggage thats making you sick. It’s coming in the next few weeks, so stay tuned.